Devil's Den Preserve

Yesterday I checked another state off my hiking list, adding Connecticut to the roll.

Devil's Den Preserve was the only hike of any significant length in the state listed in my local hiking guide. While the book didn't suggest that it was do-able via public transit, it is - as long as you don't mind nearly doubling the hike length with road walking.

It's three miles from the Cannondale stop on the Metro-North Danbury line to the entrance of the Nature Conservancy preserve. It's three miles of country roads ("country" meaning mansions on an acre or two each, "road" meaning 25 mph blacktop) with no sidewalks and mostly no shoulders. You would not want to do it at night.

The preserve itself is quite pleasant, with gentle undulations in the scenery that provide variety for the eyes without unduly tiring the legs. Well, that's provided your legs are in okay shape to begin with - mine were much more weary than I was willing to admit from a high intensity interval training class two days previous. The guidebook listed the hike around the preserve as 450 miles of elevation gain over seven miles; the road walk also has some elevation change.

Most of the really interesting stuff is near the entrance: Godfrey Pond, the old sawmill equipment, and Ambler's Gorge and Vista. At the far end of the park are the Great Ledge and the Redding Great Ledge. Of the vistas and ledges, only the Redding Great Ledge (pictured) is worth it; the others don't have any views, at least not while the trees are leafed out.

There is also a logistical challenge to doing this hike via train, as the return trains run every three hours. You're likely to have time to kill, and there isn't much to do in the vicinity: an expensive restaurant and an acupuncturist are right there, and supposedly there is a coffee shop a half-mile away. You might be better off renting a car from the city and driving.

I don't know that I would do this hike again, but it was worth doing once.

Van Cortlandt Park hike

The Friends of Van Cortlandt Park group offers led hikes about once a month, so I decided to go on their September hike. I went in part because it was in the northeastern woods, a part of the park I don't know very well.

We hiked about four miles, starting at the wetlands in the southeastern, and then following the Croton trail into the northern half of the park. Luckily, the forecast rain held off.

Trail building with Friends of Van Cortlandt Park

Yesterday, the Van Cortland Park volunteer trails crew started up again. We worked on a drainage ditch on the John Muir trail, in an area that can get pretty damp.

The ditch had been dug and the inside wall built from rocks. We lined the bottom completely and made good progress on the outside wall.

Although it was supposed to rain in the late afternoon, it held off. Although it would have been nice to see the ditch in action!

Appalachian Trail hike

On Sunday I went hiking with the Ramblers. The weather left something to be desired; it was brutally humid, and the forecast called for late-afternoon rain. Still, there was going to be ice cream, so why not?

The hike started in Sterling State Park and then hopped onto the Appalachian Trail, ending at the Bellvale Farms Creamery. Although the hike was 14 miles, it felt longer. At 3:30 we got caught in a downpour, although being under the trees provided some shelter. Even after the rain stopped, we had to be careful climbing on slippery rocks.

We arrived for ice cream with perfect timing - 30 minutes prior to the next bus. The ice cream was very good (and I don't think it was just that everything tastes good after 14 miles). Then, as we waited for the slightly late bus, the rain returned - hard. My rainjacket covered my torso, but the rest of me was totally soaked, which was pretty much the case for all of us. Then the bus came and we had to endure two hours of blasting air conditioning. I was never so excited to get to a stifling hot subway platform in my life!

Nice hike, though. Rain happens.

Not-so-obvious lessons I’ve learned about relationships from my past relationships

Some days I’m not sure I am learning anything, because I make the same damn mistakes over and over. Other days, I think maybe I have, even if the lessons are basic stuff. Like: Don’t date someone in the middle of a divorce. Did I really need to learn that the hard way?

These are the less obvious things I’ve learned. They may not apply to people dating for the first time - we all had to learn to be good kissers - but they do apply to both men and women. Except maybe #3.

1. Your relationship(s) will not look like the models you grew up on. Whether it was Disney or your parents’ relationship or When Harry Met Sally, don’t try to reproduce it. You aren’t them (and, face it, none of us are Disney princesses), and times change, and stories always sound better after the fact.
   
2. Most people are living the life they want. Unless they’re involved in actively trying to change it, don’t assume they ever will. Think hard about whether you can really share that life.
   
3. Never date a man who calls you “pretty.” If they don’t think you’re “beautiful,” they think they’re settling.
   
4. If the sexytimes are boring now, they’re not going to get better.
   
5. Don’t date anyone with active mental health issues. I’m not saying you should never date someone who struggles with, say, depression. But if they’re in the middle of a very active battle with it, they aren’t in a good position to be starting a new relationship.
   
6. If they aren’t willing to tell their parents about you, run like hell. (Exceptions can be made if they had an insane childhood and have cut off all contact with their parents. I haven’t experienced that one, but I imagine it comes with other challenges.)
   
7. If you think you can do better, go out there and try. You’ll either find your inflated ego being knocked back down to a more realistic size, or you’ll discover that you have been selling yourself short all along.
   
8. There is no value to nurturing a long-term crush. Either make your move or move on.
   
9. If someone truly loves you, they’ll find a way to tell you. It may not be with those words, but they’ll make it clear.
10. There are certain events in your life your partner has an obligation to be there for, such as funerals, illnesses, and getting out of prison. If they aren't there for you in those times, you're better off without them, because you are already doing the hard stuff without them.