Three approaches to graduation

Among the last few cohorts of students in my program there seem to be three approaches to graduation. I separate these recent cohorts from earlier ones because earlier classes were not guaranteed funding, and it was possible to study part-time. This produced different results for purely short-term financial reasons. But in the last few cohorts, while many students would undoubtedly prefer more money, none have to worry about making tuition. Their plans for graduation are driven by more personal factors. While we all are precious and unique snowflakes, you can ignore that to group our plans into three categories.

1. Is there a fast-forward button on this ride? Look, I can earn a lot more when I graduate, easily twice as much, and maybe I can work only 40 hours a week, and I want to move back to City X. I got all the transfer credit I could. Now, I'll take the fastest chunk my advisor's work I can to get this dessertation done.
2. Outer Translovakia awaits. When I graduate, my student visa will expire, and then the terms of my funding will require me to go home again for two years. I rather like it over here in the U.S. and am not keen on returning to Outer Translovakia. I doubt my significant other would do well there either. So I'll just enjoy this sojourn as long as I can.
3. I'm playing the academic game to WIN, baby! My goal is an academic post, so I'm playing the game and making all the right moves to get one. My advisor needs a student? I'm going to make sure he turns to me. Do I hate this class? It's funny, my work always turns out awesome even when I'm talking about slacking. My dissertation is going to be original, groundbreaking, touching, funny, and better than Cats. So it'll take me a little longer than those speedsters, but when I'm done, I won't just be Dr., I'll be Professor.