No, I don't have a job. Yes, things are happening. But this post is about other people.
Several of my friends at Vanderbilt (or formerly at Vanderbilt) are on the market, and congratulations to them for getting jobs at the University of Southern California, Cumberland University, and the University of Tennessee!
I was chatting with a friend in K-12 about opportunities this year. He interviewed at some pretty darn good schools. By contrast, there were no top ten higher ed programs with assistant professor positions this year, and I think that there were no top twenty jobs available, either. (Just to reiterate: At the assistant professor level, which is what I am eligible for.) This is just an illustration of how the first faculty job someone takes is only partially influenced by the opportunities available, which are somewhat random.